2005 Hawaii Trip
The past 15 years have been all about my weight. Who I am, am I good enough, my success or failure, was all tied to the number on the scale. That number rarely moved; it stayed in the 200+ range on a continual basis. I'd joke that I had fit into a size 12 pants onceseven years ago for three whole days! I'd have a little success and reward myself with food, never finding anything that stopped the madness.
I cannot put into words the internal turmoil, the emotional abuse I lived with inside my head and my heart. I lived in a self-defeating cycle of compulsive eating; I would eat and then feel guilty, so I would stuff that feeling by eating again, every day resolving to eat right "today"yet the cycle would start all over again.
I have overcome many things in my life. I conquered drug addiction and alcoholism 10 years ago. Yet still I couldn't control my eating or my weight.
In my "couch potato" days, I'd watch all the gimmicks on TV for losing weight, never buying anything. When I saw the Power 90 infomercial I surprised myself by actually picking up the phone and ordering. I never thought that it would be a life-changing moment.
After my first round of Power 90 in January 2003, I lost 8 pounds and quit. For a year I continued with my self-defeating lifestyle, but this time it was worse. I had had a taste of exercise, a taste of success, and now I owned an exercise program that was looming on the TV stand somewhere.
I decided that 2004 was the year I was going to change. I was determined to lose this weight, weighing in at 210 pounds on January 1. This time I read all the literature; I was going to follow the Beachbody program as it was designed. I hooked up on a Message Boards support thread and found people succeeding where I had failed.
Then a bomb hit my life: The second week of January, my husband announced that he wanted a separation after only a year and a half of marriage. I was 210 pounds, feeling like a loser, hating my body AND being rejected by my husband...this was an all-time low. The Beachbody Message Boards were my saving grace; I opened my heart to these people and received love, comfort, and most of all, encouragement. They taught me that the best way to cope with my problems was to take care of myself. WHAT A NEW CONCEPT!!!
Coping to me had been eating, napping, and lying around in my stretch pants. In the past I would eat for comfort, to fill the loneliness, to quiet the anger and suppress my fears. When I started another round of Power 90 (I had just finished Slim Series), I was surprised at the empowerment it brought me: REAL pushups, I can do REAL pushups!! The weight started to fall off. I lost 10 pounds in the first two weeks, and another 20 by the end of the round. I had put food in its place; food is fuel for your body, NOT an emotional supplement. I cannot stress enough that Pushing Play IS an emotional supplement!
Now Power 90 and other Beachbody products are a huge part of my coping skills. Through a separation, someone close to me drinking again, a major car accident in the family, my son starting college, and fighting my own demons, Tony and Debbie gave me life.
It's truly a paradox: When your life is out of control, when you feel like you're too busy or can't "cope," don't eat those chips on the couchthat is NOT coping. PUSH PLAY, EAT RIGHTthat is the answer to "how to cope." It fuels you to get through anything life throws at you.
My life got better. My husband came home to a happy wife, a woman who is learning to love herself, who looks for emotional support in all the RIGHT places, who has quieted those demons that haunted her self-worth!!!
Yes, I lost 50 pounds of weight, but I feel like I lost 50 pounds of emotional baggage. Beachbody delivered exceedingly more than what it promised in the Power 90 infomercial. The commitment of 90 days is just what they say: Push Play and you'll get results. Boy oh boy, did I get results!! Beyond my wildest dreams, now I can say, "I was a size 12 once; now I'm a 10!!!"
Thank you, Beachbody, for giving me my life back.